In The Middle Of It All.

In The Middle Of It All.

“The unpredictable has found a hand to hold.”

Citizen, In The Middle Of It All

I’ve been getting a little overwhelmed by my mind recently. My tendency to internalize my thoughts and emotions has proven to add much more stress than needed to my life. I’m just so exhausted.

Exhausted by all the hurt my friends and family have experienced.

Exhausted by the feeling of being a passive participant in this life I’ve been given.

Exhausted by my own bitterness and anger and never ending questions.

Exhausted by the hatred and evil in the world. 

However, tonight in the midst of all the paralyzing thoughts and feelings stirring in my soul, I heard a still, small voice in my mind saying, “Do not grow weary in doing good.” God in His goodness immediately reminded me of that beautiful verse from Galatians 6.

“Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up.” Galatians 6:9

When it all falls apart,

When people hate you,

When you are utterly alone,

When you encounter those who defend immorality,

When you feel intimidated by the happenings of this world,

When those who profess to be Christians do not reflect Christ in any capacity,

When you feel like you can’t go on,

do not grow weary in doing good. 

Weariness of mind and heart makes sense for me right now. My life is on the brink of change. New things await, old things still beckon. Everything is in flux.

One song that keeps replaying in my mind during this season of life is “In the Middle of It All” by Citizen. I don’t really like the band, actually, but I love this song. My friend showed it to me while she was struggling with some similar things I am now. The band uses this song to proclaim despair and hurt and confusion. And then right before the chorus they sing, “In the middle of it all, I found you there.”

While it’s very clear the artist didn’t intend for it to be a spiritual song, I think God continues to show me more of Himself through things like this. In the middle of all my stress and anxiety and bitterness and resentment and excitement and confusion, I found Him. I found God in the storm of my life. And He alone is worth the pursuit. That alone gives me peace and calms the storms of my mind.

4 Books You Really Should Read This Summer.

4 Books You Really Should Read This Summer.

There’s truly nothing quite as wonderful as the smell of books. Walking into Barnes & Noble or the public library (or really anywhere that has tons of books) fills my heart with an inexplicable peace and joy. Even if I’m not reading them, I like being around them. Maybe because it makes me feel smarter. In any case, I compiled a tiny list of my summer reading suggestions because I just can’t stop thinking about these books. Check out these classics.

For the critical philosopher: Crime and Punishment by Fyodor Dostoyevsky

Arguably one of the most well-known novels of the 19th century, Crime and Punishment explores the psyche of Rodion Raskolnikov, a poor college dropout who murders an old lady and then must deal with all the consequences. The entire novel is one giant psychological and philosophical analysis disguised in a fictional tale.

For the romantic optimist: The Count of Monte Cristo by Alexandre Dumas

I would be amiss not to mention my favorite book of all time. This novel is intricate, thrilling, captivating, and absolutely enthralling. I cannot say enough about it. Dantes, a sailor, is wrongly imprisoned and taken away from the love of his life. The complexity of this novel will woo your heart and fascinate your mind. Within each chapter is woven the virtues and vices of mankind.

For the podcast enthusiast: In Cold Blood by Truman Capote

This is the original “Serial.” Capote fuses journalism and novel writing in this non-fiction novel about an entire family who was brutally murdered. Fun fact: Harper Lee helped him interview people for this novel.

For the sci-fi geek: Brave New World by Aldous Huxley

A futuristic society with no pain and all the pleasure your heart could think of. Technological advancements soared, leaving the human race with nothing but their wildest dreams. But is it really everything we imagined? Huxley explores the possibilities of a utopian society in a very “Black Mirror” -esque way.

Have you read these books? What do you think? I’m also looking to expand my summer reading list. Drop some book suggestions for ME in the comments below!