“Every inch of sky’s got a star. Every inch of skin’s got a scar.”
I read an article recently on the website Man Repeller. Rachel Siemens, the writer of said article, was discussing the idea of “having it all” and what an illusion that really is. She states:
“…All I could see were a group of people who gave absolutely everything of themselves to everyone around them (albeit bathed in the halcyon glow only a closet full of vintage caftans and a rose-water addiction can give you). I wondered why I was working myself until exhaustion to get to where they were.”
That statement resonated so strongly with me, bringing me almost to the point of tears. I often feel the exact same way. My eyes glitter at the sight of those who are “all-capable” and can do anything. However, do I ever consider how those people feel because they’ve given pieces of themselves to everything around them, leaving them empty and unfulfilled?
For far too long, I have been trapped in a mindset that convinces me that I need to be everything for everyone. Whether the cause is cultural/societal norms or simply my own mind or a little bit of both, it’s time to stop being confined to that box.
So, here’s some statements I need to make.
I cannot be a perfect Christian. (sorry, fellow Christ-followers. That’s just not how it works.)
I cannot be a perfect mother, wife, girlfriend, daughter, friend, employee, __________ (insert noun here).
You get the point.
We’ve heard it said time and time again: none of us are perfect. So why are we allowing this digitally-engrossed culture to dictate our lives, saying that we must have a million-and-one outstanding aspects to our lives in order to enrich us?
Social media has a funny way of distorting lives and sucking us into the virtual reality called the Internet. It shows the beauty, success, and sometimes even the tough (aka real) aspect of life. What it doesn’t show, however, is the hard work that comes with each success. The time and effort put into each beautiful thing. And the heartbreak that can come with hard times.
Ladies, I am particularly addressing you in this post. (After all, I suppose I can speak from experience, considering I am also a lady.) Society screams “girl power” at you and then acts as if motherhood is a disgrace to feminism. Furthermore, society shows that you can indeed be a “business powerhouse and dedicated mother,” but it refuses to show your personal exhaustion and ultimate destruction as a result.
We cannot live like this and we shouldn’t. As women. As humans in general.
I suppose my point is this: we need not be good at everything. If everyone were good at everything, much of life would be utterly pointless. God gave us all specific talents and passions and purposes, and that is one of the most beautiful things about humans. You are so so unique. Don’t throw that away for some idea that you should be good at everything and do everything for everyone.
So here’s my challenge today. Listen to “I Want to Break Free” by Queen. Dance a little. Live a little. Realize what you’re good at and what you just suck at doing. Take some time for self-reflection. Maybe get off the internet for a day or two. Remember that those who love you don’t love you because you’re perfect. They love you because you aren’t.
P.S. You should totally check out Man Repeller. Sometimes they hit me with some seriously deep and inspiring articles. Other times they make fun of hipsters and I laugh.
P.P.S. The title of this blog is brought to you by none other than the song “Everything Now” by Arcade Fire. You should also check that out. Maybe I should just make another playlist for you all?